Magical Thinking

Wikipedia defines Magical Thinking as "the belief that unrelated events are causally connected despite the absence of any plausible causal link between them, particularly as a result of supernatural effects." Typically when people think about magical thinking they will link to being children with "don't step on a crack or you'll break your mother's back" or "if I look at my teacher, she will know I did something wrong." As children, it is very easy to want to control and understand the world around us. As we start to learn about cause-and-effect, we start to wonder where the line is with what we can and cannot control happening. Typically, we start to grow out of this thinking when we get to understand better how this plays out in our lives.

When magical thinking continues into adulthood, it can happen to small degrees - such as believing that one has a lucky number or a lucky charm - but it can also be an element of a larger set of concerns. Magical thinking is often linked to Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder (with and without agoraphobia), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and psychiatric diagnoses. This type of thinking is a way to control your surroundings, particularly when the outcome that you are trying to avoid is something very anxiety-producing. As long as you don't step on the crack, your mother will be fine. It becomes too difficult for a child to tolerate that mother may not be fine, and that the child is unable to do anything about that. The helplessness in the face of uncertainty is something that continues into adulthood, it is more about the ways that we manage it.

Take an example of [fictional] Sally. She believes that her football team wins games when she is watching, and particularly when she has on a "lucky" shirt. She tries to watch most games, as she also generally enjoys them. She finds out that her sister is having an engagement party that overlaps with an important playoff game for her team. Sally is a bit bummed that she cannot watch the game, but she is able to attend the party without any guilt about not watching in her lucky shirt. This is a non-clinical level of magical thinking because it does not impact her life/relationships/wellbeing.

Now take an example of [fictional] Tom. Tom believes that he must shower ten times the day before going on his business trips or else be believes the plane will crash. Seeing as he travels 3-4x per week for work, this has become very time-consuming, and he is noticing that his skin is red and raw from all of the showers. He ends up staying with a friend the day before his flight and his friend informs him that they are redoing their bathroom and will not have the shower working until the next day. He becomes frantic. A big part of Tom knows that he will likely be fine if he doesn't take the showers, but he thinks, "Why would I risk it, especially when it is my life that is on the line?" -- this questioning happens a lot the greater the magical thinking. If we feel we have found something that feels like it keeps us safe, why don't we keep doing it? Well, the answer is that it is not actually keeping you safe, and it is impacting your life in a way that is detrimental to your wellbeing.

What this really gets at is the incredible stress that we feel with the unknown. Uncertainty and helplessness to that uncertainty are some of the greatest, ongoing feelings with which humans must cope. To be able to let go into that unknown, to say, "I am truly risking something by getting on this plane." is terrifying but freeing. The likelihood that something is going to happen is incredibly small, but it is no zero. But by showering ten times the day before does not make it zero, and that is scary. We are fragile and we cannot do anything to 100% keep ourselves safe.

Now to look at it from another angle, think about the ways in which you don't worry about your safety or security. You likely don't spend all day every day worrying that an astroid is going to hit your house, or that the floor of your office building is going to cave in. These are possibilities too; these are ways that we are making ourselves vulnerable without having it consume our thoughts, or without having to feel we need to have some level of control over it.

So how can we find balance with the things we are magically thinking and the way that they impact our life? Can we understand and accept that everything from the outcome of an important game to our livelihood can be unpredictable, and in many ways and in many settings, we do not have control? Can we lean into that uncertainty, to see it as terrifying and beautiful - that we spend the time that we do have in a meaningful, courageous way - and we do not have to set our brains and our lives up with actions to try to gain more control? Can we take the precautions that are directly linked to safety (wearing a helmet, seatbelt, etc), but remove those that have the magical/fictitious connection to it (showering before flying) to promote a better sense of wholeness and wellbeing?

Please note - if you are starting to realize that you are perhaps using magical thinking in a way that is impacting your life, seek help from a therapist. It can be incredibly distressing, and it is always best to talk about it!