Why I chose to write a blog, Introduction to therapy with young adults, and "The Drop Off"

Why I chose to start a blog

Welcome to my blog! I am not sure how many people will actually read this, but my goal of this is to reach more people with therapeutic skills. I have had partners, friends, family members, and strangers all say that they have been hesitant or scared to go to therapy -- but I truly believe therapy can be helpful for EVERYONE!

At first, coming from a teaching background, I wanted to work only with kids. I thought I could make more of an impact by working with younger people - but I was wrong. Despite what some people may say about themselves, no one is "too old" or "too broken" or "too traumatized" to benefit from therapy. I started working with adults in various forms (peer support networks, The Bystander Program on college campuses, volunteering at domestic violence agencies, conducting research projects, etc), but it was not until an internship in graduate school when I knew I wanted to work predominantly with adults. A woman in her late 20s who fled violence in the Middle East said to me one day, "you may not believe this, but you are the first person to ever hear me." From that moment and from that time period in my life, I knew how big of a difference a therapist can make to an adult.

I started being pulled toward working with young adults when I was randomly assigned a caseload of a bunch of them in that same internship. I was interested in this age group when I was in college, but I had never been driven to work with them as much as I was after I started. I started hearing over and over again how people in this age group were depressed, isolated, and anxious and constantly comparing themselves to their peers on social media. While I would repeatedly remind them that people are putting their "best selves" forward on social media (for example: it is much more common to see someone post a picture of an engagement ring than it is someone to post that they are having a hard time making friends as an adult). These individuals were feeling discouraged, dejected, and exhausted. I asked my supervisor if we could form a group for young adults with depression and anxiety, as so many of these people could learn from one another. She approved and we got started! The first group was incredible - almost everyone cried, saying that they thought they had been so alone and to hear that ten other people in the room experienced almost the exact same thing was pretty life-changing for them.

One of the biggest things I discuss with clients is what I call "The Drop Off" -- this is a time after either high school or college when people/institutions/etc stop telling you what you can or should be doing. You are very quickly expected to figure things out on your own. I use this term because I am imagining following a path up a mountain (or through the woods) on which guides/other hikers are telling you which direction to go and then suddenly you reach an actual "drop off" where no one is advising you where to go and you feel dangerously alone on the edge. Even if you come from a background where you did not have much guidance or support, there were still general "norms" of what individuals in a certain culture should do until you reach a certain age. The US education system does not prepare individuals enough to survive gracefully at this time... Although I must say it is getting better! For example, the public high school in Revere, Massachusetts teaches its students how to do their own taxes as a math assignment. "The Drop Off" is an important time for connection and positive support, and when individuals do not have positive supports, it can put them at high risk for other ways of finding/keeping connection - gang affiliations, trafficking, and abusive relationships can be some of those risks. One of the other things I have encouraged people before, during, and even after this time period is to TALK ABOUT IT -- if you have attachments in your life with which it is safe to do so, then please do. If you do not (or in addition to!) find a therapist! It can be hard to form an attachment/connection, but starting to try to do this is a huge protective factor during this uncertain time. Ever single person is going through it in his/her/their own way. While some individuals have more privileges/resources, certain themes are still universal.

I am hoping that with this blog, I will be able to share resources and supports for people who are struggling right now. Current times indicate people are seeking help from the internet (because it's 2020 but also because of COVID-19) - I hope this helps!